Tips for teachers: Self and co-regulation

Feb 24, 2026 | Blogs

Tips for teachers: Self and co-regulation

Feb 24, 2026 | Blogs

‘Emotional self-regulation is the capacity to control one’s emotions. This skill is required to successfully navigate a range of situations in life. In educational contexts, both teachers and students need to be able to emotionally self-regulate in order to engage in meaningful and successful teaching and learning experiences.

In order for students to be able to emotionally self-regulate, they first need support through co-regulation from the people around them, particularly adults. This process usually happens from birth but, as with all humans, life experiences will differ. Some students will have had consistency in their developing years, while others will have had this to a lesser degree. Some students will have secure attachments with significant adults in their lives, while others will not be able to form secure (healthy) attachments.

Co-regulation offers the student a calm and consistent approach with positive and effective interactions and actions. It provides a safe space for the student whose brain natually mirrors this state and, over time, internalises it and is able to draw on it to support their own emotional self-regulation. Without emotional co-regulation, a student will not be able to self-regulate their emotions.’

(https://theeducationhub.org.nz/understanding-and-supporting-emotional-self-regulation-at-school/)

In the classroom, self-regulation is a student’s ability to manage their own emotions, thoughts, and behaviours to achieve goals, while co-regulation is the supportive process where an educator “lends” their own calm nervous system to help a student regain balance. Co-regulation is the essential “training wheels” that allow students to eventually develop independent self-regulation skills.

Co-Regulation: Being the “Anchor”

Before a student can fix their own mood, they often need to “borrow” yours

• The “Check Yourself” Moment: If you’re stressed, they’ll mirror it. Taking a deep breath before you approach a frustrated student is the most powerful tool you have.

• Narrating the Experience: Instead of asking “Why are you doing that?”, try “I can see your body is moving really fast right now, and it looks like you’re feeling overwhelmed.” It helps them connect their feelings to their actions.

• Proximity over Power: Sometimes just sitting quietly near a student without saying a word is more effective than any lecture. It says, “I’m here, you’re safe, and we’ll figure this out.”

Co-Regulation: Strategies

Co-regulation is a dynamic partnership where the adult’s state directly influences the student’s ability to settle.

• Self-Regulate First: An educator must stay calm to help a student; “you can’t give what you haven’t got”.

• Model Out Loud: Explicitly share your own regulation process (e.g., “I’m feeling a bit frustrated, so I’m going to take a deep breath before we continue”).

• Predictable Environments: Use visual timetables and consistent routines to reduce anxiety and provide a sense of safety.

• Structured Transitions: Use auditory/visual timers and 5-minute warnings before changing activities to prevent dysregulation during shifts.

• Choice-Giving: Offer two acceptable options (e.g., “Would you like to finish the task at your desk or in the calm corner?”) to provide a sense of agency.

• The 3 R’s Approach: Follow the sequence of Regulate (calm the body), Relate (connect through empathy), and then Reason (problem-solve once calm).

Self-Regulation: Building the “Toolbox”

This is about giving them a “remote control” for their own big feelings.

• “Brain Breaks” for Everyone: Don’t wait for a meltdown. Doing a 30-second box breathing session with the whole class before a transition makes it a normal skill, not a punishment.

• The “Calm Corner”: It shouldn’t be a “time-out” chair. It’s a “reset station” with things like fidget toys, noise-cancelling headphones, or even a heavy stuffed animal for sensory input.

• Zones of Regulation: Many teachers use the Zones of Regulation framework. It lets a child say “I’m in the Yellow Zone” (frustrated/anxious) instead of just acting out.

• Feeling Thermometers: Visual scales that help students identify the intensity of their emotions from “cool/calm” to “hot/distressed”.

This blog was written by Bretta Townend-Jowitt, Education Consultant and Trainer.

Have you read our other blogs in this series?

Click here to read them.

Getting help – get in touch

If you have any questions or would like to speak to us, we’d love to hear from you – click to book a free online session.

Learn More About Our Product

Schoolaspect is designed to make your life easier. With our intuitive interface, you can save time and effort. Find out more about how our software can help you get the job done faster, better, and smarter!

Find out more about our Product